My Bank

My bank just cold called me. The conversation went like this:


Phone Guy: Hi Mr. ferna. I was wondering if we could look at your accounts, and see if there is a way we could save on your banking fees?

Me: Uh… sure.

PG: Excellent. I’m just going to pull up your file then.

M: Okay.

slight pause

PG: It’s just taking a second for it to come up.

M: No problem.

PG: While we’re waiting, I was wondering if you wanted to sign up for overdraft protec—

M: No thanks.

PG: Okay then. It’s just taking a second for your file to come up.

M: No problem.

another pause

PG: Okay then, I have your file up. Let’s see here… I see that you hardly use this account.

PG: And… I see that your other account is fine, too. You’re not paying any more fees than you should be. So… is there anything else we can do for you today?

M: Um… no.

PG: Okay then. Are you sure we can’t interest you in overdraft pro—

M: No thanks.

PG: Okay then. Have a good night!


As you all probably know by now, my memory isn’t very good, so this isn’t verbatim. But it’s very close.