Monday, July 04, 2005

flip-flops revisited

Further to my flip-flops rant...

I was downtown Saturday, as mentioned earlier, and I noticed a woman wearing high heel flip-flops. My friends, this is wrong on too many levels. Why would someone take the ugliest, most uncomfortable footwear ever invented, and then put a high heel on it?!?


"What's the matter, Frank?"

"Well, it's just that.... Well... I've been thinking about flip-flops."

"Yeah, we really punished women with them, eh? haha! Ugly and uncomfortable! Booya!"

"Yeah. It's just that... I wish there were a way to make them even more uncomfortable. I mean... They've got that silly plastic thing between the toes, but women can still get about just fine."

"Yeah, I see what you mean. There really should be a way we could make it hard to walk in the things...."



"Wait! I've got it! What if we put a high heel on them!"

"Brilliant! No, wait! Even better! What if we make it a stilleto high heel!"

"Ooh, that's even better!"

"Well, we'll see. I doubt if anyone would actually be dumb enough to buy these..."

"Hey, you never know. We can try, right?"


David Hunter said...

Incidentally, since I now have the ability to put pictures up here, I was tempted to put up a picture of high heel flip-flops.

But I didn't want to torture my readership, by making them look at that.

Anonymous said...

OK, I'll agree with you on that one, high heel flip-flops are pretty ugly, but I still stand by my saying that flip flops with fabric in between the toes and NOT plastic are really comfortable.

Anonymous said...

You seem to have real issues about the whole concept of "flip flops". Perhaps this stems from a deep-rooted psychological phobia about your feet and/or their appearance... In fact, it's possible that this entire "flip flop" anguish you feel is actually just a manifestation of your own personal insecurities...

I wonder what Tom Cruise would say to that.

David Hunter said...

I do have issues, but it's not my feet that I have issues with, but all feet.

Feet are ugly, my friend, and they should be hidden away inside shoes. If possible, they should be inside socks, which are inside shoes, so that there are at least two layers between the ugliest part of the body, and peoples' eyes.

But that's just me...

Anonymous said...

In defence of the heeled flip flop...

I wear heels every day, for additional height and because society has "taught" me that high heeled shoes are sexy and I should wear them to make my calves look skinnier so I will find a man. Seriously, that's the marketing ploy.

To wear flat shoes after years of being 3 inches higher makes my legs ache in ways you can't fathom. So, I justify putting a heel on a sandal for the sake of comfort.

I also think that whoever thought up the concept of a high heel should have had their feet bound China-style. But that's just me. Now picture my tiny little feet cramped into the toe of a 3 inch pump. Not very comfy. The sandal allows that pressure to be somewhat released, preventing severe bone damage. The fact that a flip flop places the pressure, instead, on that little "thong" of fabric, only means that the pressure (of holding your body up, at an unnatural angle) is nicely dispersed into the fleshy cartilagey bit between the toes.

That said, they look ridiculous. But they're effing comfy.

Not unlike tighty whiteys.