The Day the Laptop Died

The writers at sernaferna are pleased to bring you this true story of courage, angst, and bitter, bitter defeat: The Day the Laptop Died (starring sernaferna, as sernaferna).

Please keep in mind that this is still a work in progress. Aside from sernaferna, no other actors have yet been attached to the project. (We’ve been impressed with Mr. Clooney lately, so maybe we could approach him to play “Support Guy”, but to us, he just doesn’t seem right for the part.)

• The Day the Laptop Died
• Written By
• sernaferna
• Based on a True Story
• int. the office
• SERNA enters, his LAPTOP bag slung carelessly over his shoulder
• serna turns on the laptop, and logs on
• serna
• (under breath)
• So many emails, so few that are worth reading...
• serna continues working at computer
• computer starts churning away madly—it’s doing something
• serna
• What the?!?
• Oh well.
• serna continues working
• MS Word
• You really should have closed Word, before you shut down Windows.
• serna
• But I DIDN’T shut down Win—
• laptop reboots
• serna
• Oh.
• (realizing what has happened)
• OH! I didn’t get to save my work! Crap!
• Windows tries to load up again, and produces blue screen
• serna
• Oh no.
• serna realizes what has happened: the IT people have automatically tried updating his laptop with the latest Windows XP Service Pack, and it’s failed
• INT. the office - throughout the day
• serna continues trying to get the laptop up and running
• serna
• (tears in eyes)
• Please work. Please work.
• int. the office - serna is sort of running, using Safe Mode
• Support Guy
• (email)
• Can you please reboot your computer, to complete the installation of XP SP2 for us? Thanks!
• serna
• (response email)
• I’d LOVE to reboot the computer. Unfortunately, I get a blue screen every time I do. In fact, I haven’t been able to work all day. So if you guys could come and FIX it, that would be really appreciated. Thanks!
• Support Guy calls serna
• serna re-explains situation
• Support Guy
• Uh... I need to talk to someone. Gimme five minutes...
• 15 minute delay
• Support Guy
• Okay, here’s the thing: it can’t be fixed.
• serna
• (surprisingly calm)
• What?
• Support Guy
• Yeah, your computer wasn’t meant to be upgraded. It kind of made it on the list accidentally. It will have to be reformatted, and re-imaged.
• Do you have somewhere that you can copy your files?
• serna
• No. No I don’t.
• Support Guy
• Oh! Um... Maybe someone on your team does?
• It really sucks that this had to happen to you, because it’s not YOUR fault! You just accidentally ended up on our list...
• serna
• Yes, I realize this.
• int. serna’s house - the next day
• serna spends the entire day trying desperately to get his files off of his laptop, although he can’t actually boot it up properly.
• serna re-learns the xcopy command, which he hasn’t used since college, since drag ’n drop isn’t working in Safe Mode

And that’s it. I realize it needs a better ending, but, frankly, the story is still ongoing. Perhaps there will be a sequel…