Coffee

Fear not! This post is not about Tim Horton’s, or the Roll up the Rim contest.

In the last six days, I’ve spilled three coffees on myself. And the kicker is, none of them were winning cups.

It started on Friday. I was drinking a coffee, trying to hold two things and open a door at the same time, when I somehow managed to spill it all up and down my arm. Unfortunately, I was wearing a white shirt at the time. “Oh no!” thought I. “Coffee stains badly! I’ll never get this out!” Luckily, my shirt is apparently made out of Saran Wrap: with one wipe of a paper towel, the coffee came off, and the brown mark that was left could barely be seen with the naked eye. If you didn’t know it was there, you wouldn’t have found it. So, sure, the shirt feels like cotton, but it must be made out of plastic—what other explanation could there be?

The second time was on Monday, and it took place during a meeting, when there happened to be quite a number of people looking at me. It was a very small spill, but the embarrassment factor was higher, because there were so many witnesses. (Actually, the spill almost became very bad; when someone noticed I had spilled, he was about to helpfully throw me a roll of paper towels. Luckily, a colleague stopped him, or else it probably would have hit the coffee cup, and spilled the rest of it on my pants. After all, I’m proving myself to be pretty clumsy—would I really have been able to catch the paper towels?)

And the third time was today (Thursday). I was on the escalator, with a fresh cup of Tim’s in my hand, when a colleague behind me said hello. Somehow—and I can’t even explain how I managed to do this!—as I was turning around to return the greeting, the cup fell out of my hand. I watched, seemingly in slow motion, as the cup turned over a couple of times before hitting the escalator step, spilling out its precious cargo on my shoe. I bent down to get it, but apparently I did that in slow motion, too, because by the time I got the cup, it was mostly empty.

Luckily, as it turns out, my shoe is also made of Saran Wrap, because I don’t see any kind of coffee stain on it.